October 25, 2006

Billie: Chelsea, what --

Steve: He

Billie: Steve, hi.

Steve: Hi.

Billie: I wasn't expecting you.

Steve: Well, is it a problem?

Billie: No, no.

Steve: Well, that's good, because I brought lunch. Looky here. I got beer for me and sody pop for the lady. See I remembered. And this is an appetizer.

Billie: Mmm.

Steve: Mmm.

Billie: Mmm, mmm. You know what? This is not a good time. Chelsea's on her way home.

Steve: Oh. Well, can we send her to her room?

Billie: Steve, I'm serious. Listen, Chelsea and I need to sit down and we need to have a talk. I need to make her accept the fact that Bo and I are not gonna get back together, no matter what kind of scheme she dreams up -- pretending to be a prostitute, whatever. It's just not gonna happen.

Steve: Wow. Well, uh, maybe I can straighten her out.

Billie: [Laughs]

Steve: Huh?

Billie: Oh, that's funny. No, no offense, but, listen, last time I checked, Stephanie was still hell-bent on getting you and Kayla back together, too.

Steve: So?

Billie: So...if you can't straighten out your own daughter, what makes you think you can straighten out mine?

Steve: Isn't it supposed to be easier when it's somebody else's kid?

Kayla: Oh you got so many beautiful flowers. You're gonna make a nice bunch when you're released. Baby, what's wrong?

Stephanie: Max finally came to see me last night.

Kayla: I told you he was going to. He probably felt guilty that you were the one that was hurt and it was his car that exploded.

Stephanie: He came to break up with me, Mom.

Kayla: I'm sorry.

Stephanie: But he didn't, because while he was trying to get the words out, I started to hyperventilate, and they had to give me oxygen.

Kayla: What? Why didn't somebody call me? I'm gonna take a look at your chart.

Stephanie: Mom, they said it was a giant panic attack, and I just feel like an idiot.

Kayla: I'm sorry, baby.

Stephanie: So, now Max feels sorry for me and he sort of unbroke up with me. Now if I can just keep him from changing his mind again.

Kayla: Stephanie...you said that you think that he doesn't want to be in this relationship, and if he feels that way, do you really want to?

Stephanie: Do you really want to be with dad?

Kayla: It's not the same thing.

Stephanie: Of course it isn’t. I almost died. Dad doesn't want to be with us. You know, Mom, I can't take any more bad stuff right now.

Kayla: Baby girl.

Steve: [Sighs]

Billie: [Sighs] Yeah, you're right. Sometimes it is easier to talk to somebody else's kid, but I'm her mom. It's my job. I want to do it.

Steve: So, what's the point? Proving that you're the best mom in the world or trying to help your daughter out?

Billie: It's just that I missed so much of her life. All those years, we didn't know she was alive.

Steve: Yeah, I think I get it. You feel guilty. But you don't have to worry because you are a good mom. You just don't want your daughter wasting her life trying to get you and Bo back together, have her heart broken over and over again when that doesn't happen.

Billie: Exactly, yeah.

Steve: So, why don't you just let me try to help out?

Billie: Okay. Listen, she's not gonna listen to you. Chelsea hates the fact that we're seeing each other.

Steve: That's because she doesn't know me yet. She doesn't know what a great guy I am.

Billie: [Laughs]

Chelsea: When you called and said that you wanted to see me, you didn't mention that Captain Jack would be here.

Steve: Hey, that's Captain Steve to you.

Billie: Stop it.

Chelsea: You know, if you're trying to go for the whole Johnny Depp thing, you're a little too old to pull it off and your clothes are all wrong.

Steve: So's me makeup.

Chelsea: And what's with that piece of crap that you parked in the driveway, huh? Do you want the neighbors to think that we're white trash or something? I mean, 'cause you might as well be sitting in a broken lawn chair downing a beer --

Billie: Chelsea, stop it!

Steve: It's all right. I've had a lot of people say a lot worse things to me.

Chelsea: I bet you have.

Steve: Yeah, well, now that you got that out of your system, come on, sit down. We got to talk.

Chelsea: Are you kidding me?

Steve: No, I think we need to get to know each other a little bit better..

Chelsea: Oh, well, that's funny, 'cause I think I already know everything I need to know about you.

Steve: Well, I could say the same thing, but I think we could surprise each other.

Billie: Um, you know what, guys? I don't think this is such a good idea.

Steve: Hey, Billie, do you think you could put that food that I brought out on plates?

Billie: Steve.

Steve: No, really, there's enough for three.

Billie: All right. Play nice.

Steve: Come on, sit down.

Chelsea: So, what now? Am I supposed to sit on your lap and call you "dad"?

Steve: You try it, and I might just poke you in the eye, then you'll end up with a patch, Captain Chelsea.

Kayla: You know what? I know it's been hard for you... but don't you think that you deserve to be with a guy who loves you as much as you love him?

Stephanie: Is that basically why you’re letting Billie Reed take daddy away?

Kayla: We're talking about you and Max, girlfriend.

Stephanie: It's the same thing, isn't it? We're both in love with guys who stopped loving us. Like mother, like daughter. Two losers giving our hearts away to men who will never love us back. What's wrong with us?

Kayla: There is nothing wrong with us, Stephanie. You know, sometimes life doesn't work out the way we hoped. But that's no reason to give up. You know, sometimes it just means that we need to refocus our energy and make possibilities for ourselves.

Stephanie: Think you're gonna get a new opportunity with dad?

Nurse: Dr. Kayla Johnson, please report to exam room 113. Dr. Johnson to exam room 113.

Kayla: Well, that's strange. I'm not on duty, and I didn't think anybody even knew I was here.

Stephanie: Well, maybe it's a mistake. Maybe they didn't mean you.

Kayla: Come on, now. How many Dr. Kayla Johnsons are there here? I'll be back.

Stephanie: No, Mom, don’t.

Stephanie: I don't want you to answer that page.

Kayla: I'm a doctor. Somebody needs me.

Stephanie: But you said nobody knows you're on duty, okay? No one even knows you're here today.

Kayla: Yes, but --

Stephanie: You shouldn't go. You've only been on staff a couple of days. You don't even have your own patients yet. It's totally weird that they would be paging you. You know, somebody has been doing a lot of weird things to people in our family what if this is another setup, like Max's car exploding?

Kayla: I don't think that anyone is gonna blow up an exam room.

Stephanie: I'm serious, okay? Can't you just call and find out if it's for real?

Kayla: I don't even know the number. I'm gonna go right downstairs, and I'll be right back. Stop your worrying. [Door closes]

Steve: All right, don't sit down. Listen... I think you deserve to know what the deal is between your mom and me.

Chelsea: I know what the deal is. You're ditching Kayla, she's ditching my dad because you two can't control yourselves.

Steve: Well, that's not true. But...listen, you're not a kid anymore. I bet you've been in love.

Chelsea: You're not in love with my mom. You don't know her hardly at all, and I'm not about to discuss my love life with a creepy, old perv like yourself.

Steve: I'm not asking you to. Chelsea, your mom and I like each other...a lot. Maybe someday you'll understand what that feels like.

Chelsea: Are we finished yet?

Steve: No. You don't have to like me. You don't have to like what's going on between me and your mom. But you do have to accept it.

Chelsea: Okay. Well, um, there's gonna be a few things that you're gonna have to accept, too, then, I guess. Like things about my mom you don’t know. Uh...did you know that she was a drug addict?

Steve: Yeah.

Chelsea: Oh. Well, then, I guess you also knew about the porn movies that she's made.

Billie: [Gasps]

Kayla: Hello? Hello? Hey! Hey, this door's locked! Help! Oh, damn. I left my phone upstairs.

[Heavy breathing]

Billie: Chelsea.

Chelsea: What? You're the one that's always telling me how important it is to be honest, so I'm just being honest. Yeah, my mom, she used to be a big drug addict.

Billie: That's enough, Chelsea.

Chelsea: She used to sell her body for money.

Steve: Did that make you feel powerful?

Chelsea: Look, I just thought that you deserved to know the truth.

Steve: What? That your mother has a past? So what? Everyone deserves a second chance.

Chelsea: So it doesn't bother you at all? Well, then, I guess you've dated a lot of sluts in your past.

Billie: Chelsea, that's enough! Stop it right now!

Steve: Wait a minute, wait a minute. Listen, listen -- everyone has a past. Everyone has things they're ashamed of, horrible things that they can't undo, horrible accidents that can't be undone. You know what I'm talking about? Young ladies who live in glass houses shouldn't throw stones, especially not at their own mothers. No, no, no. It's not so fun when the shoe's on the other foot, is it? Don't ever say anything bad about your mother to me again. Do you understand?

[Cellphone rings] Yeah.

Stephanie: Dad, it's me. I hope this isn't a bad time, but --

Steve: No, what is it, Stephanie?

Stephanie: I'm really worried about mom.

Steve: Your mom? What -- what happened? Okay, all right. I'll be right there.

Billie: Hey, is there a problem?

Steve: I hope not, but I've got to get to the hospital. I'm really sorry..

Billie: Okay.

Chelsea: Well, it looks like your little pirate friend jumped ship, huh? To the U.S.S. Kayla.

Stephanie: Dad.

Steve: Okay, so, what kind of trouble is your mom in?

Stephanie: I'm not sure. She was visiting me when she got paged over the P.A. system.

Steve: Okay.

Stephanie: But nobody knows what's here. She's not on duty. And with all the bad things that have been happening to the Brady’s lately, I told her that she shouldn't go without checking it out first. And I had a really bad feeling, and she wouldn't listen to me.

Steve: Listen, your mama knows how to take care of herself.

Stephanie: Would you just go and check on her, please? She went to exam room 113, and she's been gone a really long time.

Steve: I'm on my way.

Stephanie: Thank you.

Voice: Kayla. Kayla.

Kayla: Who are you? What do you want from me?

Voice: Kayla.

Kayla: Answer me, damn it.

Voice: Kayla. Kayla.

Kayla: Who are you and why are you doing this? [Knock on door]

Steve: Kayla? You in there.

Kayla: Steve! Oh, thank God!

Steve: Open the door.

Kayla: I can’t. I came in here, and when I turned around, the door was locked. Let me out of here, please.

Steve: Okay, back up. Stay away from the door.

Kayla: Okay. Steve?

Steve: Stay back.

Kayla: Steve!

Steve: I'm still here.

Kayla: Get me out of here!

Steve: I'm trying. What's going on? Is someone in there with you?

Kayla: No, but I'm scared.

Steve: All right, all right. Stand back -- all the way back.

Kayla: All right. Oh! Oh, thank God!

Steve: You all right?

Kayla: Yeah. I'm all right. I'm okay now. How did you know I was here?

Steve: Stephanie called me. She was worried about that page you got.

Kayla: I came down to this room, and there was no one here. And before I had a chance to turn around, the door slammed shut and it was locked. And then I started hearing this heavy breathing from that vent. Something was calling my name over and over again. I kept saying, "what do you want?" "Who are you?" It kept saying, "Kayla, Kayla."

Steve: You're safe. I'm here now. Hang on.

Kayla: What are you doing? What are you doing?

Steve: Checking it out. I don't hear anything now.

Kayla: Aah!